13 hilarious reviews of the Mueller Report on Goodreads


Robert Mueller's had his say, now readers have theirs.
Robert Mueller’s had his say, now readers have theirs.

Image: Alex Wong/Getty Images

It’s been a few days since the Mueller Report was released into the world, and readers are taking to Goodreads to share some highly enlightening and entertaining reviews of what they’ve read.

There are multiple published versions of the report, with a few of them hitting Amazon’s best-seller list even though you can download the whole thing for free [PDF]. 

All of these reviews are scattered across a few different published versions of the report, but that doesn’t make them any less funny or insightful. 

Where’s this story going, Robert?

“Author refused to make up his mind on important plot points.” – Zander Willoughby

We need a character tree like Game of Thrones

“Could have used an editor. Lot of Russian names, hard to keep track.” – Josh Tandy

Harm to ████ Matter

“It’s okay. Somebody blacked out all the important plot points, but it still holds up.” Gregg

Highlighting the obvious

“The previous owner used a black highlighter on all the interesting bits and the main character has no redeeming qualities.” – Matthew Davis, Goodreads

Well, there’s that

“It had a good beat and was easy to dance to. TW: Stupidity, corruption, note taking.” – Page

Redacted

“I thought it was 🔲🔲🔲 and 🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲 🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲🔲” – Chelsea Prieiss

Stop it, dad

“All the other reviewers are just Russian to conclusions.” – Robert Lyle

I still prefer Gone Girl

“Too many tired tropes. The characters…ugh. They were so 2 dimensional. And the lead protagonist? No one could be THAT stupid.” – Pamela Jones

Winter is coming

“When you’re hoping Arya shows up, and instead season 1 Sansa knocks on the door.” – Mariam

“Any man who must say, ‘I am the king,’ is no true king.” – Tywin Lannister

“Horrible Game of Thrones fan-fiction inspired mostly by the Lannister family characters.” Alicia Pettis

Recommended if you like The Hunger Games

I was looking for a good crime thriller but found this to be more of a dystopian fantasy. None of this would ever be real in real life.” – Iofopo Powell

We need a new Secretary of Defense Against the Dark Arts

“The President of the United States of America is the worst kind of Muggle imaginable.” – Gilderoy Lockhart

A cliffhanger ending

“I feel like there needs to be a sequel.” – Jill Sevelow





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